LUNCHTIME OF THE GODS EPISODE 2 – MAKE WAY FOR CAPTAIN WESTONIA

LUNCHTIME OF THE GODS
EPISODE 2 – MAKE WAY FOR CAPTAIN WESTONIA
Copyright © Drake Cobalt, 2026

EDITOR’S INTRODUCTION:
If you missed Episode One, you didn’t miss too much. Nothing except for the sudden disappearance of the sun! And the predictably less-than-overjoyed reactions of the inhabitants of Planet Alsup, which whose source of previously orbited and was warmed by that sun! That’s all you need to know to follow this episode. Actually, you don’t even know that. This episode takes place on a totally different planet, whose sun is still just fine. But enough from me – here’s the story!

(The words, “Meanwhile in a totally different galaxy,” appear in yellow letters across a screen that is mostly black but filled with a myriad of stars. A moon, not too different from Earth’s moon, but with a slight greenish hue, shows up at the top of the screen, then rapidly gets bigger as the point-of-view approaches it, then it is filling the entire screen. Details on the surface become more vivid as the moon continues its rapid approach, and then, just before the viewer smashes into its pock-marked surface, the point of view turns 90 degrees, and skims along the moon’s surface, narrowly missing some of its massive jagged mountains. Then the viewpoint rises slightly above the moon’s horizon, showing the beautiful blue, white and green planet the moon is orbiting. This planet could be Earth, except that the land to water ratio is a bit higher, and the continents have different shapes.)

(The point-of-view zooms toward this planet, above one of the particular continents, part of which is in daylight, part in darkness. Then, after going through a layer of clouds lit by the setting sun, we are above the sparkling lights of a city in the twilight, then above a 20-story apartment building on a busy city street.)

(Police cars have surrounded the building. Officers have their guns drawn. Sirens blare as a SWAT team arrives. Looking through binoculars and scowling is the grim visage of LIEUTENANT BLANCO Y NEGRO, the commanding officer of this operation. A large black limousine pulls beside him and honks. He lowers the binoculars and leans over an open window of the car.)

LT. BLANCO: Yes?

(LT. Blanco recognizes the occupant and salutes.)

LT. BLANCO:
Yes sir! It’s an honor sir! One man with a rifle. Two hostages. His wife and daughter. The man probably got bad drugs from his psychiatrist. 17th Floor. Second apartment from the Northwest corner. (slight pause) Yes sir. Thank you sir!

(Lt. Blanco motions for his squad leaders to gather around.)

LT. BLANCO: Tell all units to hold their fire. Captain Westonia has arrived.

FIRST COP: Captain Westonia!

SECOND COP: He’s here?

THIRD COP: You actually spoke to Captain Westonia?

FIRST COP: You let him get away before I could get an autograph?

(The black limousine stops in front of a conveniently near ritzy hotel. Three people get out. UNCLE FELIX and AUNT AGATHA, a handsome couple in their late 50’s or early 60’s. Felix’s neatly trimmed hair and mustache are dark but graying, and he’s wearing an expensive tuxedo. In this light it’s hard to tell whether Agatha’s hair is blond or white. She’s wearing an exquisite burgundy velvet evening gown and a bit too much gold and diamond jewelry. Between them is a figure, only slightly taller than Felix, wearing a too-big dark brown robe that hides his hands and face and drags on the floor. Felix and Agatha are each holding one of the hooded figure’s arms and are pushing him into the hotel lobby. People get out of their way, giving them the room and respect often afforded the wealthy. They all go into the men’s bathroom, no one noticing anything unusual about Agatha accompanying the other two.)

FELIX: You got all that, Armstrong?

AGATHA: Don’t call him that! He’s Captain Westonia!

WESTONIA: Yeah, yeah. I got it. 17th floor, second apartment. One gunman, two hostages. Piece of cake.

(Felix and Agatha take off Captain Westonia’s robe, over his mild resistance, revealing his uniform in its full splendor: a yellow tank top and swim trunks over red and green tights; (his left leg and right arm are red, his left arm and right leg are green); and a tight yellow mask with red and green trim; shiny yellow boots with one green and one red lace.)

AGATHA: Oh, Captain Westonia! You look absolutely stunning! I’m just so — so — every time I see you in that uniform!

FELIX: (To Agatha) Well you should! You designed it.

WESTONIA: Why do I have to wear this ridiculous costume?

AGATHA: My dear boy! This uniform is far from ridiculous. It was modeled after the Flag of Westonia, and people’s hearts are filled with patriotic pride when they see their national hero, Captain Westonia, wearing their colors.

WESTONIA: Captain who?

FELIX: (sighing) How many times have we been over this, Armstrong? You are Captain Westonia. The hero of the Free States of Westonia.

WESTONIA: Where’s that?

FELIX: (exasperated and impatient) That’s here! That’s the country we’re in, The Westonian Free States. (pause) Now, you know what to do, don’t you Captain?

WESTONIA: Of course. I sneak up behind the gunman so he won’t even know I’m there, knock him out, then tell the police to come up.

FELIX: No. You don’t tell the police to come up. You accompany the hostages down to the police while holding the gunman. You got that?

(Felix doesn’t wait for an answer, but grabs Westonia by the shoulders, shaking him for emphasis.)

FELIX: Then you pose for the cameras, say something clever, and get in our car. You got that?

WESTONIA: Yeah, yeah. I’m all ready. (pause) Where’s my sword?

AGATHA: In your pocket, dear!

(Westonia frantically feels around his costume.)

WESTONIA: This costume doesn’t have any pockets!

AGATHA: Then it’s in one of your robe pockets.

(Westonia feels through his robe pockets, then sighs with relief as he pulls out something that looks like a credit card, which he holds in his hand. It unfolds into a sword. Westonia moves the sword around slightly, looking it over, still in awe of its beauty, though he’s seen it thousands of times. It’s black, like outer space, but upon a closer look, seems to have stars, galaxies and nebulae floating inside.)

(Without further ado, Westonia slices a hole in space, the outline of which is glowing in a greenish white and hovering in the room. Then he steps through.)

EDITOR’S END NOTE:
Will the hostages survive? Will Captain Westonia remember who he is and where he’s from long enough to complete his mission? What does this mission have to do with the disappearance of Planet Alsup’s sun? One or more of these questions will be answered in our next newsletter! Stay tuned!